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Pirates Of The Caribbean 5 Has Ghost Sharks (What More Do You Want?)

Jack Sparrow’s heart just isn’t in it anymore—‘it’ being pirating. Can you blame him, though? He’s five films into a franchise based on a theme park ride and the ride is winding down. Luckily, the bulk of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie has been handed over to some fresh-faced new characters: the nautically inclined Henry Turner and the highly educated and scientifically minded (so: probably a witch) Carina Smyth.

Brenton Thwaites (Maleficent) is Henry, son of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley’s Pirates characters, while Kaya Scodelario (The Maze Runner) plays Carina, a woman who’s constantly in trouble with the law but determined to seek out what she believes is her birthright: Poseidon’s mythical trident. The trident, however, is a bit of a hot item. Even factions that don’t completely believe it exists are still looking for it, Turner among them. He wants it so that he can break the curse imprisoning his barnacled old dad at the bottom of the sea. Pirate kingpin Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) wants it to increase his already substantial power. Javier Bardem’s Captain Salazar just wants revenge—something only the Trident can give him.

As for Sparrow, all he really wants is another drink. (And possibly a fresh eyeliner pencil.)

In the Dutch colony of St. Martin, storylines and characters converge when Johnny Depp’s drunken Captain Jack is sent to the guillotine for bank robbery as both Carina and Henry are about to be hung (for being a scientist/witch and surviving a pirate attack, respectively). From there, an escape plan is hatched and a loose bond is grudgingly formed as the trio races to find the Trident.

Sparrow and co. go up against the unholy alliance of Barbossa and Salazar—whose men have been trapped in the darkness of the Devil’s Triangle for long enough to make them really, REALLY hate the guy who put them there (that’d be Sparrow). But that’s good news for us, because it means copious footage featuring zombie hordes aboard expensive-looking CG ghost ships, their hair and clothing moving as though underwater even when they’re not, their faces cracking, rotting, and calcifying before our eyes—a result of life in the watery prison Sparrow condemned them to. Translation: it looks cool. Did we mention the ghost sharks?

The sound design is another big plus for the movie. You can practically feel the old wooden ships creaking around you, the waves crashing, and the cannons firing. Performance-wise, the standouts are Bardem as the water-logged pirate hunter, Salazar, Rush as the remorseful Barbossa, and Paterson’s Golshifteh Farahani as an actual witch, Shansa. We’re all about those face tattoos.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, co-directed by Kon-Tiki filmmakers  Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg, sails into theatres May 26. Flip up your eye patch and watch the trailer below: