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Orphan Black Recap: Manacled Slim Wrists Still Won’t Be Weakened

Orphan Black

Big Oil is an issue. Big Pharma is a nuisance. Big Cosmetics, though? Those are the bastards with the power to make your hair fall out should you be bold enough to cross them—or at least that’s Krystal’s hypothesis after her friend and fellow beauty vlogger falls victim to some traumatic hair loss during a taping of for their hit YouTube channel. Is anything more humiliating that 50,000 of your followers seeing your hair take leave of your head on live… internet? Probably, but Krystal still wants revenge. She knows Big Cosmetics is behind this and that Dyad is the biggest, baddest “cosmetics” company out there.

As always, her timing couldn’t be better. Sarah wants information on what Rachel might be subjecting Kira to at Dyad and Krystal has someone with inside intel: a guy who recently sold them his cosmetics company (and also recently totally ghosted Krystal). Sarah and Art want to speak to her contact… only it doesn’t go down as planned. For anyone.

PT’s plan is to implant hundreds of Kira’s eggs in surrogates to generate a new crop of experimental super-babies. No wonder Delphine was so adamant about keeping Kira away from Dyad. But faking sick can only work for so long.

It seems like Westmorland is the one who’s actually ill—his nightly treatments, administered by Mud, look like dialysis. They’re actually parabiosis. PT is pumping himself full of young blood to maintain his alleged immortality. That’s one ruse that falls away in this episode. Susan reveals that PT is a Neo myth and that their mascot’s real name is John.

John/PT is still keeping Cosima locked up in his basement. Her first visitor is an unwelcome one: Virginia Coady, who PT has busted out of the mental hospital Susan put her in and re-employed her in his lab. She claims to be close to a cure for Castor. We don’t buy it and Ira doesn’t seem to either. When Ayesha dies, the villagers riot, providing Susan with the kind of distraction that allows her to sedate PT while Ira and Mud free Cosima.

By this point Ira is glitching hard. Cosima manages to escape with Charlotte, Mud and the evidence they need to prove that Westmorland is a fraud. Susan, however, is killed by Coady and Ira won’t leave her. PT is going to be so mad when he wakes up.

5 questions about this week’s episode

1. How much fun did Tatiana Maslany have beating up her IRL partner, Tom Cullen while in character as Krystal?

2. What’s behind the story Kira is writing?

3. Coady was cagey when Ira asked her the question we’re all dying to have answered: are there more Castor boys in the world or was Ira the last?

4. What have Delphine, Adele and Felix managed to dig up in Geneva and how is it going to help bring down Dyad and PT?

5. Please tell us that Krystal will get an invite to the Clone Club finale this season. Pretty please?