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Doom Patrol Recap: Cult Patrol And The End Of The World

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“Happy birthday bay-beeee!” Oops. Wrong show. And yet, here we are on Doom Patrol celebrating a similarly repetitive string of birthdays—only it isn’t Natasha Lyonne being feted but Elliot, the key to ending all life in the universe. It’s not his fault, guys. Elliot’s Cult of the Unwritten Book-belonging parents raised him to think he was going to save the world, not doom it by bringing The Decreator into this (already completely messed up) realm. What does this have to do with our Doomies? Nothing, until the Chief’s old friend Willoughby Kipling (call him Kip) shows up at Doom Manor and demands their help.

After abducting Elliot from his knife-wielding mother, Kip sends Cliff and Jane to Spain to sew up some priestly stigmata with the only substance on Earth that’s strong enough: Janis Joplin’s dental floss. This is supposed to keep the Decreator on his side of the interdimensional border… but Jane and Cliff mess it up (Jane does not enjoy organized religion it would seem) and get sucked into the lost city of Nurnheim. It’s not very nice there—everyone is excited about the apocalypse and the High Priestess (Elliot’s mom) has sent nuns with time-and-space-ripping straight razors to get him. It’s next-level helicopter parenting.

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It’s all quite complicated, but to the Cult of the Unwritten Book, Elliot is the book and it’s time to read him (with results that are way harsher than when RuPaul does it on Drag Race). To prevent all this, Kip wants to kill Elliot—to burn him so that he can’t be read. Luckily for Elliot, Vic and Rita object. They each step into save him when the time comes, despite the ever-approaching end of everything. Just don’t call them heroes, okay?

Following a decor-destroying fight with demons made from old skin and unsent letters, the Doom Patrol is bested by Nurnheim’s nuns who snatch Elliot and take him away to be read. As the words tattooed on his body are said aloud, a giant glowering eye appears in the sky. Are we too late?

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5 questions we have about this week’s episode of Doom Patrol:

1. Does that hot sauce/rosary/backwards Beatles lyrics thing really work? Asking for a friend.

2. What is Larry’s energy guy’s motivation? Why did he let Elliot out of the basement where he was protected?

3. Is being inside Larry’s body really torture? Is the energy dude stuck in there?

4. How long until Rita stops rejecting heroism so hard? What’s she holding on to?

5. How pissed are the recently un-donkeyed citizens of Cloverton going to be when they see that giant eyeball hovering above their town?


Check out the full episode below: